Well, the time has almost come for me to head back to Minnesota. Just two days! This week, my last in South Africa, has felt strange and has been filled with a lot of sad goodbyes unfortunately. I cannot even begin to express how many great friends, lessons and experiences I have met and learned here and not only how very, very difficult it is to leave it all behind, but also to say goodbye. I cannot seem to wrap my head around the fact I am actually leaving. It is such a strange feeling!
Who I was five months ago seems so strange and who I am now, I have to say, is someone I am very pleased with. I think Africa was really a wake up call and a "kick in the pants" that I really needed to be the best version of myself. Its not that I didnt like myself before, and its not like I had been making "bad" choices at all, but I just really think Africa changed me into a better, more well-rounded, globalized person. I think back to the beginning of my time here in Africa, especially the first time I drove through a township and experienced what absolute poverty looks like. It broke my heart into a million pieces to realize that is a reality in our world and to see it with my own eyes changed my whole life-for the better. I take shorter showers, I eat less, I realize what it truly important in life and I constantly tell myself to be thankful for everything I have and never take things-or people for granted.
One of the biggest ways Africa has impacted me, as I mentioned, is the way I eat. Here in Africa, not only are processes foods less accessible, but they are not as common-which is GREAT, since nearly ALL foods are so processed in the states its sickening. I had been debating it ever since I got here, to become a vegetarian, and after my experiences in Hogsback and Bulungula, where animals were killed in front of me-it pushed me FAR over the edge. I have decided, that since I cant kill it, I shouldnt be eating it and that from here on out, I am a pescetarian, meaning the only meat I eat is fish. No beef, chicken, lamb or anything. I also looked into a lot of research regarding this type of diet and found that in many, many ways this diet can lower your cholesterol dramatically, and be really helpful to the environment. (The less meat humans eat, the less land we take up for farming cows, pigs, chickens, etc and the more land we save for plants, trees, nature, wild animals, etc!) I have been following this diet for six weeks now, and I already feel better than I ever have- so I am pretty excited about it!
Another way Africa has changed me is the beliefs I had about the world. Coming from such a small town, sometimes is can be hard to think globally and outside the box. Dont get me wrong, I love my small town, love it to death, but there is a reason I chose Africa. Not only because I was already obsessed with the idea of coming here, but because it was different. Different than anything I had ever seen, done or experienced. I wanted to live in a culture and place in the world totally opposite from what I was used to-and I am so glad I did. It really can open ones eyes and give them a bigger perspective on things. Also, as I said, I have realized what is really important in life. Here in South Africa, people dont sit and text or sit on facebook on their phones while in the presence of othes, especially during a meal. It is considered EXTREMELY rude and thats because it is. Be warned- if you think answering a facebook post, text message, tweet or email is more important than talking to me just in general, or at dinner then I am getting up and walking away. Facebook dosent matter. Emails can wait! Your in an actual, person to person conversation, and it is disrespectful to pay more attention to your phone-an object- over another person and what they have to say. Another thing I have realized, from going to places like Bulungula is just how poisonous money and things can be. Researchers who publish statistics in social science books would consider the people of Bulungula to be at the absolute poverty line, meaning they live on less than $1.25 per day (U.S). The thing is though, is that those people choose to live that way. They are some of the happiest people I have ever met, because they find happiness in the simple things in life. They work, simply by themselves, for everything they have and they find satisfaction in it. They are happy with their lives because they have never known how much they "dont have" or they have never been put into a culture to realize what every one else "has" compared to them. What they have is what they need and thats that. Now, take those same people and put then in the middle of Johannesburg, where they then realize how little or how much each person has in this world and they become accustomed to relying on money and things to survive. Now what? Now, they realize the difference between poor and rich, now, instead of working for what they have, in terms of a self-made house and self-grown food, they now work for the sole purpose of gaining money, and as much as possible so they can buy as many things as possible. Suddenly, things begin to revolve around things and money. When I came to this realization, it really made me think of all the things I have that I dont need. Do I need a brand new, 2012 car? Do I need a smart phone? Do I need things, things, things? No, of course not! But, thanks to good ole society and money, I am told, day, after day after day that I need, need, need, want, want, want things, and without those things, my life is incomplete. So, yes, I have a new car, but I am going to try to depend less on it. Walk where ever I can as often as I can, not only to save gas but to enjoy the simple things in life. Like the fact I have two legs and good health to actually walk places. Or the fact I live in a place safe enough and nice enough to walk by myself. Yes, I have a smart phone, but I dont need to be on facebook and twitter and whatever else at all times throughout the day. I will now spend less time doing that and more time working out, and just spending time with people, doing actual things that matter! The thing is, is it really is the little things in life that matter the most.
Another thing that really opened my eyes is just how incredibly hard it is to be an international student, or just to be an international traveler anywhere! You are in, what you consider to be, a strange new place, where the typical languages are not your first language or your language at ALL and you have to find things on your own, make friends, find your classes on your own on this strange new campus, and figure out how to handle school not only in a different country, but in a different academic setting where grading and a lot of the styles are completely different. I can tell you from experience-its tough! At all times, I felt eyes on me, looking at how I dressed differently, how I spoke differently and how I was just different. Its intimidating! You also have to figure out, usually by yourself, how your classes work as far as grading and what the professor wants from you, because now, you are in a different system. Grading in South Africa could not be more opposite from grading in the U.S! I also think back to my time at St. Cloud State University, where there are a large proportion of international students, but a lot of U.S SCSU students ignore them, or I feel like judge them before they even know them, especially if they are Somalian. Yes, they may be different, they may have a different skin color, they may dress differently, they may speak differently, but hey, I remember being that very same person and just how tough it was! In the future, I for sure know that I will be more conscious of other international students as well as encourage others to do the same.
Africa has also taught me that each and every day and every thing you do in that day is a once in a life time opportunity. Some things may seem more relevant to this than others, but if you sit down and think about it for a second, its true! I think back to my best and greatest times here in Africa and say to myself, "wow, that really was once in a lifetime." I will never be in the same place, with all the same people ever again. It makes me sad at first, and then happy, to have had such amazing experiences and then I also learn from it and realize that I need to take in each moment and grasp onto it as much as possible because I may not ever get the chance again. Other things that are so much more tedious, like just every day, simple things that we often "wish away" are things we should be more careful to enjoy and not take for granted. Each day you wake up is another opportunity, another chance to do something-anything- and at the end of the day, if you wish you hadnt spent time doing something, or you were so board, that, simply, is your life your wishing away! Each day is special and eventful in its own way, you just have to take the time to see it!
Finally, as I am literally getting my suitcase out to pack it right now..its really hitting me. My life long dream is nearly over. Ever since I was little, Africa was my dream. I dont know why, but I was obsessed with it. The more goodbyes I say, the more real it gets and the more in denial I become. Even though its over, which is really, really hard to me to accept, God, it was one hell of a beautiful time! I think back on all my amazing experiences and a smile comes to my face. I think of all the amazing friends I met from all over the world, and I am so happy, but so sad at the same time. I got to see elephants, zebras, lions, leopards, hippos, wildebeest, water buffalo, giraffes and great white sharks, all in their natural environment! I met friends from all over the world and got to learn about so many different cultures-which is such a great experience. I got to see some of the most beautiful sunsets in Botswana, among the acacia trees (my favorite!) where the entire sky was a bright, blood orange and sunrises over the ocean, where, as Forrrest Gump says, "you couldnt see where Earth started and Heaven began..." So beautiful. Or the amazing roar of Victoria Falls..if I close my eyes and think on it, I can still hear it, and smell the mist in the air and picture the biggest waterfall in the world! Such an amazing experience.
Well, this is it folks. I hope it was interesting to listen to all of my adventures, I cant wait to tell you all about them in person! I keep telling myself, over and over and over "Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened.." and that its not "goodbye" only "see you later." Easier said then done though. Part of my heart will always, always be in Africa and to say I am so truly, truly blessed to have had this experience and meet the people I did would be the understatement of my entire life. Its been the experience of a life time, one I could never forget and one hell, of an interesting, life changing experience. See you all in the states in three days!
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