Things have gotten more interesting while volunteering, that's for sure! Each week is a completely different experience and adventure. Last Thursday, was frustrating and just strange. I helped a young girl, who was in grade 10, with some of her homework on food preservation and why it was important. At first, I was excited to help someone older, thinking we could be able to communicate better and the homework would be something I knew a lot more about. However, I struggled. The girl I was helping seemed completely uninterested, in her homework, in me attempting to help her and honestly she just didnt have any response to anything. I would ask her simple questions about herself, her homework, how her day was and she just literally had nothing to say. She also seemed like she knew nothing about her homework and thats when I began to realize, through helping her spell simple words that instead of being at a 10th grade level, she was at about a 2nd grade level instead. Simple words were a struggle. Understanding even the concept of what food preservation was and how to talk about it was something I feel like she wasn't grasping, even though she had spent the entire school day learning about it. Honestly, it was beyond frustrating, because I literally could not help her and more so, she didnt seem interested to even learn. I have always known how broken the school system is here, but this was even harder to understand and deal with. I am first and for most volunteering to help these kids because I care, but when I literally dont know how, because of the inequality of education from student to student, its hard.
I also feel like I spent a good amount of time disciplining a lot of the kids. It is probably hard to understand from an outside perspective, but at Sinethemba, there are about twenty-thirty kids ranging from 5-16, and there are about two or three "mamas" who are there to look after them. Most the time, I dont even see any authority figure. The kids run around just like any typical group of children, screaming, running, playing, yelling, fighting and laughing. However, I feel like the kids at Sinethemba are a little more aggressive and ill-mannered because they are simply not used to being disciplined. A lot of times the other volunteers and I will be trying to teach or play a game with the kids and others will be throwing rocks, or kicking, or punching and it turns everything into chaos. Finally, the other volunteers and I had enough. I caught one boy attempting to throw a huge rock at some kids on the swingset. I grabbed him by the shoulders, walked him to the nearest chair and told him to sit down and not say a word until he could play nice. Another boy spent more time hitting people than actually playing soccer, so I sent him inside to timeout until he could be respectful. A lot of the time, us volunteers are the only authority figures around and it seems to me that a lot of the kids really need some one to tell them that they behavior isnt okay. I hope that us disciplining them will also have a positive effects on them, because hey, every one needs manners, right?!
This week, I spent most of my time helping a younger girl with some spelling. She was in 2nd grade, so I threw words out like "car" or "cat" or "foot" for her to spell, thinking that these were 2nd grade-level words. Not quite. I dont know if its because younger students here are just learning English, or if its because they spend most of their time spelling in their first language (Xhosa) or if they simply lack spelling skills, but it was pretty brutal. The first time she spelt "car" she spelt it "karye." Which, to a certain extent, I can see making sense, but for some one who is in 2nd grade...oofta. So, we spent nearly an hour with a list of ten words, taking it really slow, sounding each one out, spelling each word over and over, until it looked like she was getting the hang of it! By the time we were done, I honestly think there was a lot of progress made! She learned the difference between K and C, and S and C, which I think can make a pretty big difference in spelling if you think about it. As glad as I am that there was progress made, the devil's advocate side of me says rudely: "you taught her ten words...so what? What difference is ten words going to make?" As sad as that sounds, and as mean as it is..it crosses my mind. In the grand scheme of things, it really is just ten words, and they probably wont make that big of an impact on her life or her education unfortunately. Deep, deep down, I sincerely hope it does make a difference but my spirits fall when I think about how little ten words are compared to the bigger, systemic education problem here.
On a brighter note, I brought finger nail polish with me today to the homework club, as kind of a reward for the girls after their had finished their homework. They absolutely adored it! I think every single girl had me paint their nails, while some of the older girls were able to do it themselves. It was interesting to see how something so basic to me, was such an interesting thing to them. Even some of the boys attempted to paint their nails and they looked so excited I just couldnt say no! I think it was just something so different or something they wernt used to, so they all wanted it!
Another thing that was interesting to me, was the idea of possessions to the kids at Sinethemba. Each week, I usually spend some time coloring with a girl who is really into art, and this week I noticed she was very overprotective of this pencil case she had, filled with color crayons and pencils. When I asked her about it, she told me that she had saved up all her money and bought these pencils and color crayons so that she could have her own and not have to share with every one. I then asked her how she kept them from every one else, and she took me into the house, where the girls stay and she literally picked up her pillow and put the pencil box there. She told me thats where she keeps all of her things. This was shocking to me, because not only was the pencil box the only thing kept under her pillow, but this was an eye opener. I have so many things I call "mine." My car, my clothes, my shoes, my makeup, my blah blah blah..she has a pencil box filled with color crayons that took all of her saved up money. This box of crayons was her prized possession, at least the way she talked about it. She dosent have closets filled with clothes, all the girls at this home share clothes. They all share shoes and school clothes. There are very few things, or possessions they can truly call "their own." Very interesting when you sit down and really think about it.
Lastly, although I have mentioned taking pictures and uploading them for all of you to see, so you can really understand what Sinethemba looks like, I dont think I will be taking any pictures. I dont know how to explain it and it probably makes no sense, but when I'm in the townships I feel guilty. I feel guilty for having a nice watch on my wrist, having nice clothes, having things that people in these townships dont have. I feel guilty being white and even showing my face in a township, because although I had nothing to do with the Apartheid Regime or any type of oppression that put these townships into affect, white people were still responsible for creating townships and pushing people, mostly black and coloured into poverty and unfavorable living conditions. I dont feel comfortable taking pictures because then I feel like I am making the township a sort of entertainment for people to gawk at. I feel like I am exploiting other peoples misfortunes and then advertising it on the internet. The way I think about it is if I were homeless, or living in poverty would I want some one to take pictures of it and then send it to all their friends? It just makes me uncomfortable, so just to make it clear, there probably wont be pictures.
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